so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
