margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
