I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
