Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
