Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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