Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
