How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
