This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
