i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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