spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize