Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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