Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i've created a new STD.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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