so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
