Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
