when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
