if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
