kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
