Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
