lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
