Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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