I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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