I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
