I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize