i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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