Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
