he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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