I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
