Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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