ugly people sure do ruin things
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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