Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
