let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
