is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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