shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
