I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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