You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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