he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
