I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
