Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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