she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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