i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
