I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
