a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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