DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
