BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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