My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
