Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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