she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
