I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
