I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize