You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
