Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
