i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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