you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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