This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
FUCK WHALES
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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