and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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