she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
they need to just BURY HIM!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
