mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
