That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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