that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
