You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
