I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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