i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize