got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
