my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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