the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
