i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
